Avatar (Preview)

Directed by: James Cameron

Written by: James Cameron

Starring: Sam Worthington, Zoe Saldana, Sigourney Weaver and Michelle Rodriguez

Release Date: December 18 2009

Why should you watch this movie:

1. James Cameron's first real film since Titanic
2. A whopping $237 million budget
3. Visually a threat
4. Should be Oscar worthy (11 wins?)
5. Alien sex

Set in the distant future, the human race has expanded beyond the outer rims of space. The story is set in the planet of Pandora, a land of many resources, outwordly life forms and home of the Na'vi; a race humans deem as primitive. Humans being unable to breath on the planets surface genetically create human-hybrid Na'vis called Avatars which can be controlled remotely by humans and can be used to explore Pandora. Sam Worthington plays Jake Sully (Jack?), a paralysed marine who is selected into the Avatar program where he will regain the ability to walk again. To gain the resources of the planet, the marines venture deeper and deeper into Pandora triggering unrest and finally war with the Na'vi. And along the way

So far, so Pocahontas with a dab of sci-fi. This being a James Cameron's film however and the first 'true' film since Titanic creates an overall, 'I gotta fucking watch this movie' kind of thing. Bonerific.

My Fucking Top 30

1. Reservoir Dogs
2. Snatch
3. Pulp Fiction
4. Memento
5. Leon: The Professional
6. Gladiator
7. Fight Club
8. Usual Suspects
9. The Good, The Bad and The Ugly
10. Monty Python and the Holy Grail
11. True Romance
12. Kill Bill
13. Seven
14. Rain Man
15. The Shawshank Redemption
16. A Fistful of Dollars
17. Borat
18. Full Metal Jacket
19. Shaun of the Dead
20. Saving Private Ryan
21. The Matrix
22. Heat
23. Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels
24. The Untouchables
25. Stand By Me
26. Natural Born Killers
27. Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
28. Twelve Monkeys
29. Dawn of the Dead
30. 28 Days Later

Okay, so far I've talked about four of those mentioned films (Reservoir Dogs, Snatch, Pulp Fiction and A Fistful of Dollars) and my goal at the mo is to finish all 30 alongside my reviews and previews. That may take a while

A Fistful of Dollars (1964)

The Man With No Name. The ultimate badass motherfucker and one of Clint Eastwood's most memorable role. This is where it started off; A Fistful of Dollars followed by For a Few Dollars More and finally the most awesome western movie EVER, The Good, the Bad and the Ugly all of which were directed by the late legendary director Sergio Leone. A Fistful of Dollars is known as a Spagetti Western, a sub genre of western flicks in which this film gave rise to its popularity. The plot goes as such, The Man With No Name arrives at a little town of San Miguel where he soon discovers is run by two gangs; the Rojos and the Baxters. Realising the potential to make money, The Man With No Name plays a double agent kinda thing with both sides pitting one against the other. Throw in a damsel in distress, Marisol (Marianne Koch) who is forced to stay with the Rojos despite having a family of her own and also the main villain, Ramon (Gian Maria Volonte) who is famous for his rifle shooting and intelligence.

Ramon with a rifle

Like in all traditional westerns, Ramon will face off with The Man With No Name in a showdown at the end of the film. Sergio Leone is often regarded as the master of creating a build up and even if it took all day, the showdowns in his movies tend to leave you gripping your seat filled with an amazing score to boot. His films are also known to offer a far greater sense of realism intact as you can see the amount of grit on the characters as well as the despair of the setting. Also, known for his use of violence A Fistful of Dollars is no exception. Prepare to witness a whole massacre of the US army by use of gattling guns. This was what the West truly was, it was no fairy tale and Sergio Leone knows that.

Marisol with The Man With No Name

The real star of the show will have to be and always be Clint Eastwood. He potrays somebody we all wanna be some day. Fuck. I want to be as quick with a .45 as he is. This is how all fights should be like. Two man or one man against 4 men as exemplified in the video below where The Man With No Name proves his worth.

From the way he walks to the way he lights a match down to the way he talks. So fucking cool. I wish I was as witty and cool as The Man With No Name is. Damn. Besides Mr. Blonde and Rick Blaine, The Man With No Name is at the top of the cool motherfuckers list. Watch the movie for the experience that westerns offer. Let it transport you to another time and place where people kill people for no reason and where mercy is non existent. This is the west as according to Sergio Leone. A Fistful of Dollars. Lets not forget though that Quentin Tarantino was inspired by Sergio Leone.

The Soloist

I was actually looking forward to this movie. I mean, Robert Downey Jr? And Jamie Foxx as a homeless crazy bum? Fuck yeah. Man, was I disappointed. For starters, the film is based on a true story about Steve Lopez (Robert Downey Jr.) Los Angeles Times columnist who discovers Nathaniel Ayers (Jamie Foxx), a gifted musician who is homeless and schizophrenic. So, Lopez then makes it his life mission to get to know Ayers and find out about his life story and write it off to tell the world. The films main core is to create awareness for the audience on the situation of the homeless and the troubles that plague them. I didn't met any homeless people when I went up to LA but I met a plentiful at San Francisco and fuck were they crazy.

A pic of a homeless person above. One time I was just walking by minding my own business when suddenly BAM! This homeless woman comes up to me and starts mumbling shit. It wasn't any language I ever heard off but she just kept talking to me. I just walked off with only one thing on my mind: What the FUCK was that?! Anyways back to the review.

Its suffice to say that Jamie Foxx stands out in this role as I guess its different. But it wasn't that good and I've certainly seen better performances. Robert Downey Jr. is no doubt brilliant playing a man who tries to banter a crusade for Ayer's causes. Initially, Lopez wanted to tell people about Ayers but ended up forming a friendship with him. This friendship however is put to the test because of Ayers schizophrenic behaviour that caused his current homeless status. However the film is the one major drawback was that it didn't manage to draw me into the film. It just told the story, that's it. The character development could have been better but got lost in the frame. There was absolutely nothing that drew me in. My guess is that director Joe Wright lost his direction and got too into the whole creating awareness for the homeless. If that was the case, this would have worked better as a documentary.

One advice Hollywood; no more movies based on true stories. Its just not good. The reason being; it bores the hell out of us. Yeah, movies based on history are fine but movies based on somebody's life. Pfft. Fuck off. What made the film worth watching is the evolving friendship between Ayers and Lopez and the ensuing rollercoaster ride. Catherine Keener makes an appearance as Lopez's ex-wife but there was nothing that suggested why they separated and Keener was very underused in the film. Catherine Keener used to be hot, if any of you who watched Being John Malkovich would suggest. I should recommend that movie soon.

Catherine Kenner in Being John Malkovich

Catherine Keener in the Soloist

Man, age can do some real damage. I give this film a 5/10.

Positives: Robert Downey Jr., Creates awareness, Friendship between Ayers and Lopez

Negatives: Boring, Nothing to draw me in, Average character development, Slow

Lars and the Real Girl (2007)

When I begun to watch this movie, I didn't really have very high expectations. Imagine my surprise then when I found myself absolutely loving this film. The premise itself is a strange one as it deals with this guy named Lars who lives quite a lonely existence and has a social life equivalent to zero as he distances himself from others. He shudders at the thought of being loved by others as he fears affection. One day, he goes over to his brother's house, Gus (Paul Schneider) to introduce a woman he met. Initially Gus and his wife Karin (Emily Mortimer) were happy that Lars has finally found love. Imagine their surprise when they find that the woman is actually a sex doll Lars names Bianca.

The family doctor and phycologist, Dagmar(Patricia Clarkson) theorises that Lars is experiencing a delusional state of mind. Therefore, she concludes that the best way to get Lars out of his current state would be to threat Bianca as a real person. And so begins the awkward phase as the whole community has to play along to Lars delusion. In the very least, Ryan Gosling gives an absolutely brilliant performance as Lars. Gosling really made his role believable as a delusional lonely man who is truly in love with his Bianca. For those female readers out there, I'm sure you'll recognise Gosling from the Notebook. The reactions towards Bianca in the early stages had me laughing as the towns people as well as Lars brother could not comprehend why Lars was how he was. They taught he was going insane. Later on, there is a slight transition as the people begun to threat Bianca as a real person, electing her onto the scholl committee and also having her volunteer ast the hospital.

It was sad watching Lars react in his delusional state but also heartwarming as we witness his sincere tender love to Bianca. The relationship between Lars and Gus is explored and so was Lars past and his mothers death providing the reason behind Lars behaviour. The ending was absolutely perfect. All in all, the film was one emotionally funny enjoyable ride. It was a film to watch on a lazy afternoon. One more note to point though, I found myself attracted to Emily Mortimer. I simply have no fucking clue why. She was just the kind of girl that I would want. She has that look. Can't explain.

Theres just something about her

I give it an 8/10

Positives: Great acting (especially Ryan Gosling), Great ending, Emily Mortimer, Great film for a lazy afternoon, Simple yet effective

Negatives: Mediocre character development for minor characters, Too slow at some points

District 9

With Inglourious Basterds coming in Malaysia 2 months after the official release, I begun to feel depressed and bewildered of the amount of shit blockbusters raping the summer. Then comes along the greatest anti-depressant of 2009, District 9. I fucking love this movie. This is the best movie I've seen so far (IB!) for the year 2009. It was FUCKING awesome! A truly original, provacative sci-fi masterpiece. Basically, it took everything that was wrong with the world and placed it int his film to challenge what it meant. I'm talking racism, corporate corruption, political strife, selfishness and the violence that exists in humans. The story revolves around an alien spacecraft the size of two cities stopping above the city of Johannesburg 20 years ago. The governments of the world under pressure from the public decided to bring the aliens (who were malnourished) down to Earth and set up an area for them to live in. Designated District 9. Living in slum like conditions and continually being harressed by the Nigerian gangsters living there and also increasing conflict with the human population, MNU was formed to ensure proper surveillance over the aliens. But the main purpose of MNU is to discover how to use the alien weapons technology.

The film is presented in a unique way. Adopting a documentary style in some parts to introduce the themes and setting and the more traditional film making to advance the story. The starring cast consists of strictly put, unknowns so there is no star power at access here, with the main actor Sharlto Copley putting up a reasonable at best performance as Wikus van der Merwe; an MNU field operator who is in charge of transporting the aliens to District 10. In the midst of it, he gets infected with an alien substance that changes his DNA to a more alien one presenting the opportunity where he can actually use the alien weapons making him the most valuable person on Earth. Neill Bloomkamp does the one thing that made this movie such a spectacular show, and that was pulling the audience in. The film sucks you in right from the start and doesn't let off until it draws your emotional and intellect all across the floor.District 9 was awesome throughout. From the special effects, to the emotional stance, to the witty flow of the story, to the character development; all the fucking way to the fucking bank. Regarding the special effects, this movie only had a budget of $30 million! And it still managed to create a believable world filled with unique characters. Alien designs were extraordinary and you can actually sense the authenticity of the aliens (Christopher) and it felt real. Unlike Transformers 2 (where the budget strikes at a fucking $200 million) could never have produced robot characters that we would have given a damn about. In District 9, watch out for the blood spewing moments when man meets alien ray blast. The film is bloody and doesn't hide it. If you taught that Rambo 4 was bloody, you haven't seen nothing yet. The film ends at a conclusive note beckoning the audience to think about what will happen next but frankly I just hate those kind of endings. The one negative aspect that I found regarding the movie was censorship.

Seriously, I know your doing your job Malaysian Censorship Board but, MOTHERFUCK! They want to censor the word 'fuck' but end up censoring the word after the word 'fuck' so it sounds like, "Give me the fucking *cut*". And its not like they bleep the word. No. They fucking cut the piece distorting the movie and fucking pissing me off. If you need to cut, cut it properly so that the viewers don't notice anything but better yet don't censor anything. Fuck off.

Positive: Superb plot, Original, Special Effects, Blood & Gore, Great directing, Intelligent, Funny at places, Great finale

Negative: Fucking censorship, Inconclusive

I give D9 a 9/10. I'm gonna watch it again tommorow and can't wait.

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

Another movie based on Hasbro toys and this one nevertheless directed by Stephen Summers! The only good thing about going to this movie was that the trailer of Inglourious Basterds was showing, confirming its release in Malaysia 22 August! Woohoo! When the producers decided to not screen the movie to print critics and focused on internet critics instead you know somethings up. And that something went straight up G.I's ass. The punishment for the act of treason (it is engraved in law) would be 'hang, drawn and quartered'. However, the film opened with this surly motherfucker caught for selling arms to both sides and the British punished him by placing a melted mask on his face. WTF! Historical inaccuracy!

Imagine the cheesiest pizza you can find and place a side order of the corniest corn you can find and you get G.I Joe (retarded comparison I know, couldn't find anything else). Cheese and corn have been ordered to the max and you can clearly see it in the film from the script to the music score to the build up and of course the flashbacks. In the course of the film we see a couple of flashbacks in cue from the black ninja and the white ninja. It could have worked but it didn't. Blame it on bad directing. The plot goes as such. The descendant of the dude in the beginning builds this nano warheads for NATO and tasks the army to send it to someone. Turns out he build them for NATO to get funding and plans to steal it back to use them himself. This looks like a job for the Joe's! Plot wise its not too deep and you can quickly make up the end eventhough there are two supposed twists. Well, the only reason I watched the film was probably because of Ray Park. Lo and behold my disappointment when I discovered the katana fight scenes weren't that special.

In a nutshell, this movie is similar to Transformers 2 with the exceptions of robots. Like T2 G.I overuses the slow motion special effect to the act of unnecessary. Seriously, nobody nowadays can do slow motion as cool as The Matrix and 300. Although I admit I liked the chase scene through Paris but that was only a short transfix. One of the only characters to stand out was Arnold Vosloo as Zartar, Master of Disguises and of course Sienna Miller as Ana Lewis. I would say that Sienna Miller is a much more viewtiful eye candy than tranny Megan Fox.

The humour in the film was not up to par if compared to other lite blockbusters as Ironman. The funniest part in the movie consisted of a helicopter pilot muttering the words 'oh my god' before getting killed by a nanite blast which looked like a cum shot. Although some of the weapon techs were deemed cool, it was not all that impressive. The movie goers behind me however were very much impressed and were not able to comprehend the simplistic plot. Example of conversation behind me:

1. Kenapa dia tembak President too?
2. Dia terbang-lah
3. Dia dah mati ke?
4. Oooooooo
5. Ahhhhhh

Motherfuckers, shut the fuck up and watch the fucking movie. Talking is not allowed in the cinema unless your making clever comments about the film such as:

1. This movie is fucking retarded
2. Thats the most metrosexual ninja I've seen
3. Sienna Miller is hot
4. WTF (in a bad sense)
   
5. I bet you that Doctor is the girl's brother

Overall, the acting was average (Dennis Quaid, I was counting on you), script is not worth mentioning, plot is typical, Stephen Summers should pack up and please don't make another one. Its not as sucky as Transformers 2 but its just as bad.

3/10

Pulp Fiction (1994)

If Reservoir Dogs was the perfect movie, Pulp Fiction was the vessel that launched Quentin Tarantino to super stardom, revitalised Bruce Willis and John Travolta's careers as well as made household names out of Uma Thurman and Samuel L. Jackson. It won the Palme de'Or at Cannes Film Festival as well as nominations for Best Picture, Best Director, Best Supporting Actress (Uma Thurman), Best Actor (John Travolta), Best Supporting Actor (Samuel L. Jackson) at the Oscars clinching an Oscar for Best Screenplay. The dialogue was absolutely 100% brilliant and was a stand out in the film alongside the amazing cast of characters inhabiting Tarantino's world where people debate upon foot massages and the taste of murder. In essence, the film follows a non linear plot which integrates a couple of stories together. First up, the movie starts off with Honey Bunny (Amanda Plummer) and Pumpkin (Tim Roth) robbing a restaurant which would later act as the vessel to carry the restaurant scene at the end of the movie. Pulp Fiction then introduces two hitmen working for gangster Marsellus Wallace (Ving Rhames); Vincent Vega (John Travolta) and Jules Winfield (Samuel L. Jackson) who have a task at hand, to acquire a briefcase from college boy Brett. In this first vid, I present one if the most memorable scenes from Pulp Fiction the breakfast scene.

Right afterwards, the film coverts into another story arc, the Vincent and Mia Wallace (Uma Thurman) arc where Vincent is asked by Marsellus to take his wife out for dinner. Hilarity ensues from a drug overdose courtesy of cocaine. This is where the movie turns into the romance sub genre building the mutual friendship between the two characters. The audience is soon introduced into another storyline, one that involves Butch (Bruce Willis) and his Gold Watch. This scene is my favourite scene EVER in any movie. Christopher Walken! I fucking love that guy!

In light of events, Butch is a boxer who is supposed to throw a fight at the request of Marsellus Wallace. Of course he doesn't and walks away with the betting money. The Gold Watch will play an important part in this storyline as it acts as a coincidential meeting between Butch and Marsellus Wallace. What happens between Marsellus Wallace and Butch will have you literally shouting; WHAT THE FUCK! Hey, its a dark comedy. The story then snaps back to Jules and Vincent as they just got the briefcase and also Martin. The discussion that takes place is the result of the Godlike miracle that Jules had witnessed and brings about his decision to leave the hitman profession and start anew following the path of God. This starts off the Jules Winfield's transition and bears about one of the greatest character development ever. In this particular video, accidents do happen. And happen they do in a bloody exploding mess.

So, this accident has resulted in an unexpected detour. A detour to Jules friend Jimmy's (Quentin Tarantino) house. This sets in motion the introduction to my favorite Pulp Fiction character, Winston Wolfe. Seriously, I have this kind of attraction to coolness. Not in a gay way. Fuck no. Admiration if you must. Wolfe just comes in and takes over with such style and class it would make even James Bond shudder in his pants.

After the cleaning up, we arrive at the restaurant scene which is my second favourite part of Pulp Fiction. Here in this video, we see the direct explanation towards the Ezekiel 25:17 and how it can be interpreted in different ways based on different perspectives. A truly philosophical scene and the showcasing of the to die for wallet. I FUCKING WANT THAT FUCKING WALLET! Bad ASS Motherfucker!

Why is this film the absolute definition of awesomeness. It is the film that has so many memorable scenes and quotes, it will stick with you for the rest of your life. It is the film that has influenced the way the independent film industry is shaped and pulls that fact that films such as these can reap in huge profits. It is the film that has created the standard for all films to come and all films to come by. It is the film that will challenge your definitive thinking and philosophy. It is the film that will change the way you talk. It is the most enjoyable and funniest film you'll ever see in this genre. It is the film that is deemed the greatest of the 90's decade. It is PULP FICTION. So, get off your asses and find this movie and fucking watch it as it is the movie you need to see before you die.

District 9 (Preview)

Directed by: Neill Bloomkamp

Written by: Neill Bloomkamp and Terri Tatchell

Starring: Jason Cobbs, Robert Hobbs and Sharlto Copley

Why you should see this movie:

1. Produced by Peter Jackson!
2. This movie is the result of the failure of the Halo movie
3. Alien discrimination!
4. Humans as the bad guys!
5. Interesting premise

Basically, this movie is about how Earth is visited by this gigantic ship. This ship brought along extra terrestrials who are the remaining survivors of their destroyed home planet. Aliens then set up camp in South Africa in a place designated by the military as District 9 living in slum like conditions will being kept 'safe' from the public. However, this organisation called the MNU couldn't give a fuck ass about the aliens welfare, only wanting the knowledge of the alien weaponry. 28 years has since past and the tension has risen between the humans and non-humans causing violence and unrest. Then along comes the fact that there are secrets hidden in District 9...

Very thrilling and viewing the trailer made me curious to want to watch the movie. Might be the most original movie of 2009 or it might be a dud.

Book of Eli (Preview)

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