The Amazing Monologue of Mreps and Muc

The new blog is here! Creativity and imagination run wild! Fellow brother and uncle Mreps and Muc discuss everyday topics while keeping a profound element of insanity!

The Amazing Monologue of Mreps and Muc

The End

This is it, the end. Its been quite a lifeless blog. Nobody reads it (a few do, like 1 or 2) and I'm a bit lazy to continue. Personal blogs are more of a hit with the masses but I have principles dammit and I will never ever do a personal blog. I already have a new blog harbouring upon the horizon and I guess I'll do that instead. Before this blog, there existed my other two blogs "Exploding Brains" about the future and "Episodes" about assassins. But those too were lifeless and I again got lazy.

To those that actually read my blog, thank you for taking the time to read upon my thoughts about movies and the like. I don't think I'll be permanently deleting this blog as I have become quite attached to it. Off I go, towards the end of it all.

And to finish off, a final quote by Herbal Kint from the Usual Suspects:

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist. And like that, poof. He's gone :)

Inception (Preview)

Directed by: Christopher Nolan

Written by: Christopher Nolan

Starring: Leonardo Dicaprio, Ken Watanabe, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Ellen Page, Cillian Murphy

Release Date: July 16 2010

Why should you watch this movie:

1. Directed and written by Christopher Nolan
2. Mentally challenging
3. Not your average dumb as a block blockbuster
4. $200 million budget!
5. Its definitely worth the time and price

Not much information is divulged upon this film as its still kept tightly under wraps but Christopher Nolan who has done Memento (4th fav film of all time!), Insomnia, Batman: Begins and the Dark Knight (fav film of 2008!) is one who would make any film beyond brilliant. Pressures on him though to see if he can top the Dark Knight. All I know about Inception is; it is set within the architecture of the mind and should be 2010's film of the year.

Love is a Battlefield

Why does love exist? Is it an emotion? An illusion? Or just a fragment of our purported attempts to appear human? Whatever it is, it affects us like the bubonic plague. Here, here this post here, dedicated to those that have lost their love and have a hard time coping with reality. If your one of them, do not freight as I have the cure. COMEDY! Nothing like a good comedy to lighten up one's depressing day. Not included in this list would be romantic comedy which I think is shite (Howevr, not all romantic comedies are shite, just the bulk of them). Every film in this top ten does not contain any romance and therefore acceptable for all those people who have that one voice telling them to summon Krakatow.

10. Pineapple Express (2008)

Stand out moment: Watching people high on drugs do things that apply to people not high on drugs

9. I'm Gonna Git You Sucka (1988)

Stand out moment: Guy carrying fuck load of pistols and shotties gets asked by comrades, "Don't you think your carrying enough" to which he replies, "There's never enough" and then proceeds and slips and falls on his back triggering all those pistols and shotties to accidentally fire into his body. We're talking multiple rounds here. And he survives to ask, "Did we get that son of a bitch?"

8. Old School (2003)

Stand out moment: Fat guy ties brick to penis and tosses it to the ground from a two storey building as part of a "trust" initiation to the fraternity. Brick falls into open manhole.

7. Tenacious D: The Pick of Destiny (2006)

Stand out moment: Master Exploder dream sequence

6. Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2003)

Stand out moment: Fight scene between newscasters between comedy stars Will Ferrell, Vince Vaughn, Steve Carell, David Koechner, Ben Stiller, Luke Wilson, Paul Rudd and Tim Robbins

5. Monty Python and the Meaning of Life (1983)

Stand out moment: Find the fish

4. Hot Fuzz (2007)

Stand out moment: The final pop capping gang busting action comedy packed shootout

3. Ladykillers (2004)

Stand out moment: Guy proceeds to shoot other guy but revolver clicks prompting guy with gun to below, "What! No bullets?" while looking into the revolver's chamber. Accidentally clicks the trigger which releases the bullet. LOL!

2. Borat (2006)

Stand out moment: Two guys running around naked in a hotel

1. Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1979)

Stand out moment: The Rabbit of Caerbannog

There you have it. Top 10 films you need to watch to get over a broken heart.

Note: I was thinking of placing Shaun of the Dead, Knocked Up, Hot Shots, Top Secret, Superbad and Naked Gun but realise that they contain a bit of romance.

Observe and Report

I'm a big fan of Seth Rogen. Absolutely loved him in 40 Year Old Virgin, Knocked Up, Superbad, Pinepalle Express, Zack and Miri Make a Porno. This one however, I'm a bit divided. As a dark comedy, this is as dark as it goes. Let me start this one off by saying if it wasn't for the second half of the movie, I would have given this movie a 3/10. I felt tempted to take out the DVD but I stayed and thankfully the second half was the saving grace for the movie. Observe and Report tells the story of Ronnie Barnhardth (Seth Rogen) who as head of mall security finds his calling when a flasher terrorises Forest Ridge Mall parking lot. In an attempt to catch the perpetrator and win the girl of his dreams (Anna Faris), Ronnie and his rag tag team of security guards have to use their wits to beat the bad guy while having to compete with Detective Harrison (Ray Liotta). The premise seems simple enough but the one thing that makes this film stand out would be Rogen's character. He's a messed up complicated delusional incompetent guy who has all the makings of an underdog. Let me be a bit blunt here. In the first half of the film, Ronnie was unlikeable. Period. Throughout, the first half I was literally getting raped in my head continually spewing the "WTF" phrase over and over. I didn't get him. I just didn't like him.

Most of the first half looked and felt like shit. The editing was off, the jokes were off and even Liotta who should be a stand out was off. However, a big however, the second half seemed as if it was written and directed by an entirely different person altogether. Jody Hill who wrote and directed this film may have a split personality disorder. This being his second film, Hill shows some promise. In the second half, the film takes a darker turn. Everything falls apart for Ronnie who seems to be losing it as time goes by as he becomes increasingly delusional (due to not taking his meds anymore) and violent. The standout moment would be the confrontation between Ronnie and Harrision. There is a subtle message embedded within the film. You just have to find it. It really was interesting. And dare I say it, Observe and Report could be a smart movie (second half though).

Rogen brings an intensity into the character, you never know what he's gonna do. The relationship developed between Ronnie and his second in command, Dennis (Michael Pena) should be applauded as it brings up questions of what life is about and the principles that hold life together. Like I mentioned before, Anna Faris is in the movie. And here me right when I say I don't like Anna Faris at all as an actress. Although, some might say that she sort of fits the role of an annoying dumb as hell bimbo, I just don't like her. I don't know if it's real though but she has some big boobs.

Also included to the ending chase scene was my all time favourite song but covered by a different artist. I would have prefered if the used the original 'Where is my Mind' by the Pixies. Before I forget, there is some controversy surrounding the film, especially the date rape scene. But in my honest opinion, it was just part of the joke. Its nothing too serious. Overall, it was a very very interesting film but it would have been a much better film if the first half was half as good as the second half which supports the half of the other half's half. I give it a 6/10

Postitives: Second Half, Interesting analogy, Rogen's character, Where is my Mind

Negatives: First Half (Bad editing, Bad jokes, Just a normalised WTF stamp of approval)

Final Destination 4

I would say this once and only once, this movie was definately intended for a 3-D viewing. At the time, I lost the opportunity to do so and hence have instead watched it in 2-D. What can I say. I mean, what the fuck can I really say about this anus splitting testicle ripping dick castration piece of hellish shit. If you would remember my previous review of Transformers 2, you would that that would be as bad as it goes. I doth protest. This is the worst. I won't even waste my time reviewing this piece of crap and thus wasting my time. Instead I will offer ways to improve upon the series if God help us, they make another one.

Hence I give you,

10 Ways to Improve the Next Final Destination:

1. The people that get premonitions; explain why they're so special to get them and how
2. Go back to basics, over the top death scenes just don't cut it anymore
3. Play on human emotions like paranoia
4. Make the next one in space
5. Make the next one in space but through an underwater virtual device
6. Have Death fight it out with the victims in a game of Life
7. A cameo by Hades
8. A cameo by Zac Effron getting killed a gruesome death as soon as he comes on the screen. And make his character gay
9. Make the next one a comedy (this one does it so well)
10. Don't make another one

A movie as shit as this should not have existed. It has. May God have mercy on us all.

Updating

Man oh man am I slacking. Haven't had a very consistent update action have we now me droogies. Right, right?

The root of the problem lies in the assignments. Oh how ist thy assignments horrifyingly anal. That and coupled with the arrival of a magnitude of video games. Just to let you all know (even if you fuckers don't give a shit, I'll still say it cause its my fucking blog), I managed to complete all the Riddler's challenges in Batman: Arkham Asylum! All 240! WOOHOO!

Updating will commence starting with a few movie reviews. I realise that this particular post comes too close to being personal and we don't want that shit now do we? I don't want you to know any more about me as much as I don't want to know whether or not you createns are masturbating to this awesome post.

Indeed, people do bother me so with such questions as; why is your blog not a personal blog? Only girls have personal blogs. Real men have blogs to critic every aspect of life. Honestly, do you motherfuckers really want to know about my love life, toilet life, secret agent life or as we delve onward, superhero life? NO! You want cutting edge vernacular shit and if you wanted something personal you would have gone and killed somebody close range while saying; Its always personal motherfucker! Please comment though or maybe I'll have a vote. Should I or should I not add a more personal touch to my blog?

Inglourious Basterds

I find it so fucking retarded that I have to go all the way to Singapore just to watch Inglourious Basterds. If it wasn't for Singapore, I would have to wait for 22nd October and no doubt censored. I actually didn't know it was out in S'pore but fate would bring my attention towards it. Best vacation EVER! Even if it did suck a little.

Films summary is as such; the film is divided into two stories, one concerning Shosanna Dreyfus (Melanie Laurent) a Jew who survived the massacre at the farm escaping from the clutches of Nazi Colonel Hans Landa a.k.a the 'Jew Hunter' (Christopher Waltz) and the other story concerning the Basterds led by Lt. Aldo Raine a.k.a 'Aldo the Apache' (Brad Pitt) whose sole objective simply put is to 'kill Nazi's'. The two stories meet at the end with both parties engaging in the obliteration of the Nazi High Command.

(From left: Melanie Laurent, Christopher Waltz, Omar Doom, Daniel Bruhl, Quentin Tarantino, Eli Roth, Diane Kruger and Brad Pitt)

The plot was very engaging. You never knew what would happen next and even if you did, the film still had me gripping at the edge. The plot and feel was reminiscent of earlier Spaghetti Westerns and those classic War films like; Where Eagles Dare or Dirty Dozen. But when you go to watch a Tarantino film, you don't go for the plot. You go for the dialogue. The movie is jam packed with talking and in most movies that would be a problem but not in IB though. It was one of those films that made me go; Shit, I wish I could talk like that in real life. The film albeit most of it was in French or German had very memorable lines such as;

Lt. Aldo Raine: Actually Werner, we're all tickled to hear you say that. Frankly, watchin' Donny beat Nazi's to death is the closest we ever get to goin' to the movies

Sgt. Hugo Stigilz: Say "auf Wiedersehen" to your Nazi balls!

Col. Hans Landa: You need all four to win the war

Lt. Archie Hicox: Well, if this is it, old boy, I hope you don't mind I go out speaking the King's?
Major Dieter Hellstorm: By all means Captain
Lt. Archie Hicox: There's a special rung in hell reserved for people who waste good scotch. And seeing as I might be rapping on the door momentarily...
[drinks scotch]
Lt. Archie Hicox: I must say, damned good stuff, sir
[pause]
Lt. Archie Hicox: Now, about this pickle we find ourselves in...

How was Brad Pitt's performance in the film? All I can say is...its Brad Pitt, what more can you expect? He does what he does to his best ability in his Southern accent. The real standout of the film was Christopher Waltz as Col. Hans Landa. If he doesn't get nominated for an Oscar, I will go on a FUCKING rampage! He was brilliant. No! More than brilliant! GODLIKE! Waltz brought in the life for the character as a smooth talking, sadistic, linguistic (speaks French, German, Italian and English perfectly), genius of a detective as he says. He was a colourful character almost eccentric and a bit playful. But that's just a disguise. When Landa gets down to it, he gets down to it. The first Chapter is the perfect start to introduce his character. Watch as he starts off as a friendly just a normal helpful guy but Landa turns into a menacing persona when he wants what he wants breaking a man with just words and words alone. He's a chillign character and Waltz brings onto himself a presence in every scene. This is what a villian is all about. A few pictures below of Landa just because he pwns.

Friendly mode

Menacing mode

I'm gonna get you motherfucker!

The others in the cast that I grew fond of would be Michael Fassbender as Lt. Archie Hicox, a film critic before the war, fluent in German..

And Til Schweiger as Sgt. Hugo Stigilz, a quiet psychotic German soldier who killed 13 Gestapo soldiers and was rescued by the Basterds

Plus some eye candy courtesy of French actress Melanie Laurent as Shosanna

The character of Shosanna can be described as a repetition of the Bride from the Kill Bill films but with a touch of vulnerability although sharing the same qualities of determination, vengeful persona.

IB was in fact a dark comedy and it was no doubt very funny. The jokes were simple, with very little effort put into them but believe me when I say that the film was a hilarious, enjoyable ride. Plus with a killing soundtrack (which I would recommend to get), IB was an unforgettable film. If you were to observe correctly, you would catch the many references made to movies and movie celebrities within the era a true Tarantino style as he makes homages to those flicks. Speaking of Quentin Tarantino, watch out for his cameo. Make that two. I missed it, but plan to spot it when the film comes to Malaysia.

I only have a couple of complaints though, one would be the lack of interaction within the Basterds. It felt as if to Tarantino, the Basterds weren't really the stars of the show. Instead, he chose to focus more on Landa and Shosanna. Another would be that I felt some scenes were a bit out of place or rushed not giving enough time for the audience to take in the ambiance of the scene. Yeap, thats it.

To conclude, I would say that Inglourious Basterds is better than Kill Bill but not as good as Pulp Fiction let alone Reservoir Dogs. All in all, it was a very very good film and deserves some Oscar nods. As Aldo Raine cheekily puts it, "You know what Utivich? I think this might just be my masterpiece" a reference to the film itself. I give IB a 10/10. Excellence.

Positives: Brilliant script, Likable characters, Nice flow, Hilarious throughout, Christopher Waltz, Its a Tarantino film, Brilliant soundtrack

Negatives: Some scenes felt rushed, Lack of interaction within the Basterds

Top Ten Movie Characters (Continued)

5. The Man With No Name

Acted by: Clint Eastwood

Movie: A Fistful of Dollars (1964), For A Few Dollars More (1965), The Good, The Bad and The Ugly (1966)

Info: The definitive role that made Eastwood famous in the Hollywood circle and practically the whole world. Playing a smooth talking cool as motherfucker cowboy with a holier than thou quick draw, this was Eastwood's most memorable role besides Dirty Harry.

Memorable quotes:

The Man With No Name: [counting Angel Eye's men] One, two, three, four, five, six. Six, the perfect number.

Angel Eyes: I thought three was the perfect number.

The Man With No Name: I've got six more bullets in my gun

4. Winston Wolfe

Acted by: Harvey Keitel

Movie: Pulp Fiction (1994)

Info: Harvey Keitel who previously played the role of Mr. White in Reservoir Dogs returns in another Tarantino film to strut his stuff. Wolfe can put Bond to shame. The moment he steps onto the screen. there's the aura of a cool as fuck motherfucker. He knows what to do, how to do and when to do. He is a man of action, not through literal action but through words. He comes in and grabs the situation by the balls. If Wolfe was a real life businessman, he would be the fucking Man of the Year

Memorable quotes:

The Wolf: Jimmie, lead the way. Boys, get to work.

Vincent: A please would be nice.

The Wolf: Come again?

Vincent: I said a please would be nice.

The Wolf: Get it straight buster - I'm not here to say please, I'm here to tell you what to do and if self-preservation is an instinct you possess you'd better fucking do it and do it quick. I'm here to help - if my help's not appreciated then lotsa luck, gentlemen.

Jules: No, Mr. Wolf, it ain't like that, your help is definately appreciated.

Vincent: I don't mean any disrespect, I just don't like people barking orders at me.

The Wolf: If I'm curt with you it's because time is a factor. I think fast and I need you guys to act fast if you wanna get out of this. So, pretty please...with sugar on top. Clean the fucking car.

3. Bullet Tooth Tony

Acted by: Vinnie Jones

Movie: Snatch (2000)

Info: Vinnie Jones was born for this role. A tough as nails motherfucker who plays by his own rules and with a 'don't take shit from no one' attitude. Put to boot some

Memorable quotes:

Bullet Tooth Tony: So, you're obviously the big dick. The men on

the side of ya are your balls. Now there are two types of balls. There are big brave balls, and there are little mincey faggot balls.

Vinny: These are your last words, so make them a prayer.

Bullet Tooth Tony: Now, dicks have drive and clarity and vision, but they're not clever. They smell pussy and want a piece of the action. And you though you smelt some good old pussy, and have brought your two little mincey faggot balls along for a good old time. But you've got your parties muddled up. There's no pussy here, just a dose that'll make yo

u wish you were born a woman. Like a prick. you're having secong thoughts. You're shrinking and your two little balls are shrinking with ya. And the fact that you've got 'REPLICA' written down the side of your guns...

[Zoom in on the side of Sol's gun, which shows 'REPLICA' etched on the side]

Bullet Tooth Tony: And the fact that I've got 'DESERT EAGLE .50'...

[Withdraws his gun and puts it on the table]

Bullet Tooth Tony: Written down the side of mine...

[Zoom in on Tony's gun which shows 'DESERT EAGLE .50 etched on the side ]

Bullet Tooth Tony: Should precipitate your balls into shrinking along with your presence. Now...Fuck off!

2. Rick Blaine

Acted by: Humphrey Bogart

Movie: Casablanca (1942)

Info: Bogart was nominated for an Oscar for his role in this classic film and fuck, he sho

uld have won. Blaine reeks of class from start to finish having the best lines and always having that cool as fuck look in his eyes. The 'I don't give a fuck' look. Solid.

Memorable quotes:

Rick: I'm saying it because it's true. Inside of us, we both know you belong with Victor. You're part of his work. the thing that keeps him going. If that plane leaves the ground and you're not with him, you'll regret it. Maybe not today. Maybe not tommorow, but soon and for the rest of your life.

Ilsa: But what about us?

Rick: We'll always have Paris. We didn't have, we, we lost it until you came to casablanca. We got it back last night.

Ilsa: When I said I would never leave you.

Rick: And you never will. But I've got a job to do, too. Where I'm going, you can't follow. What I've got to do, you can't be any part of. Ilsa, I'm no good at being noble, but it doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Someday you'll understand that. Now, now...Here's looking at you kid.

1. Mr. Blonde

Acted by: Michael Madsen

Movie: Reservoir Dogs (1992)

Info: Why is Mr. Blonde in the number one spot you may wonder? Well, I'll fucking tell you why. Mr. Blonde is a sort of person who is on the inside, a psychotic motherfucker but hides this inner demon through his cool demeanor on the outside. He represents the hidden evil in men. Violence is not around him, he is violence. Striking one of the coolest poses since John Wayne.

Memorable quotes:

Mr. Blonde: Listen kid, I'm not going to bullshit you alright? I don't give a good fuck what you know, or what you don't know, but I'm gonna torture you anyway, regardless. Not to get information. It's amusing for me to torture a cop. You can say anything you want cause I've heard it all before. All you can do is pray for a quick death, which you ain't gonna get.

[Removes razor]

Me. Blonde: You ever listen to K-Billy's "Super Sounds of the Seventies" weekend? It's my personal favourite.